Imagine ... you have found the love of your life. The proposal was magical, the wedding planning is in full swing, and you can’t wait to say, “I do.” You’re choosing flowers, tasting cakes, and finalising seating arrangements. But here’s a question—have you thought about what happens if things don’t work out?
I know, I know—talking about divorce before even getting married seems like the ultimate mood killer. But hear me out. Many people meticulously plan their wedding day, yet barely give a thought to what would happen if their marriage ended in divorce. The truth is, knowing about divorce before you get married isn’t about being pessimistic; it’s about being realistic and prepared. So, let’s talk about the things you should know about divorce in the UK before you walk down the aisle.
Divorce in the UK: The Basics
First things first, divorce laws vary from country to country, so if you’re not in the UK, be sure to check the specific legal rules that apply to you. In the UK, divorce is now much simpler than it used to be, thanks to the introduction of ‘no-fault divorce’ in April 2022. This means you don’t have to prove that your partner has done something wrong—either of you can apply, or you can apply together, simply stating that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The process usually takes about six months from start to finish, provided everything runs smoothly.
But just because it’s legally straightforward doesn’t mean it’s emotionally or financially easy. Divorce affects everything—your money, your home, your social circle, and, if you have them, your children.
The Top 5 Reasons for Divorce in the UK
If you’re wondering why marriages end, here are the top five reasons couples in the UK get divorced:
Lack of Communication – Over time, many couples stop talking about their feelings, leading to resentment and emotional distance.
Infidelity – Cheating remains one of the most painful reasons for a breakup.
Financial Problems – Disagreements over spending habits, debt, or financial priorities can drive a wedge between partners.
Lack of Intimacy – Physical and emotional closeness is crucial, and when it fades, so can the relationship.
Growing Apart – Sometimes, people simply evolve in different directions, realising they no longer share the same goals or values.
You can find more facts and statistics here: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/divorce/bulletins/divorcesinenglandandwales/2022
What Happens if You Divorce Without Kids?
If you don’t have children, divorce is usually a bit more straightforward (but still not necessarily simple). The key issues you’ll need to resolve are:
Splitting Assets: Anything you own together—house, savings, investments—will need to be divided. Contrary to popular belief, there’s no automatic 50/50 split. The courts will consider factors like contributions, needs, and fairness.
Dividing Debts: If you’ve accumulated debts together, those will need to be split, too.
Spousal Support (Maintenance): In some cases, one spouse may be required to financially support the other for a period of time.
What Happens if Kids Are Involved?
Divorce becomes more complex when children are in the picture because their well-being takes priority. Here’s what you need to consider:
Child Arrangements: Who will the children live with? How often will they see the other parent? This used to be called ‘custody’ but is now referred to as child arrangements in UK law.
Financial Support: The parent who doesn’t have primary care of the children may be required to pay child maintenance.
Parental Responsibility: Both parents remain responsible for making major decisions about the child’s upbringing, education, and health.
Emotional Impact on Children: Divorce can be tough on kids, leading to feelings of confusion, guilt, sadness, or anxiety. Open communication, reassurance, and consistency can help children adjust.
Maintaining Healthy Relationships: Co-parenting requires effort from both parents to ensure children feel loved and supported. Avoid using children as messengers or involving them in conflicts.
The Bureaucratic Steps
The divorce process in the UK involves several key steps:
Filing for Divorce – You or your spouse must submit a divorce application to the court, either online or via post. You will need to pay a fee (currently £593) and state that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.
Acknowledgement of Service – If one spouse applies for the divorce, the other will receive an acknowledgment form that must be completed and returned within 14 days. If both apply together, this step is skipped.
Cooling-Off Period – After the application is processed, there is a mandatory 20-week reflection period before you can move to the next stage. This is designed to give both parties time to consider their decision.
Conditional Order (formerly Decree Nisi) – After the 20-week period, you can apply for a conditional order. This is a legal document confirming that the court sees no reason why the divorce cannot proceed. Once granted, you must wait another six weeks before applying for the final order.
Final Order (formerly Decree Absolute) – After the six-week waiting period, you can apply for the final order, which legally ends the marriage. Only after this step is complete are you officially divorced.
Financial and Child Arrangements – If financial settlements or child arrangements haven’t already been agreed upon, they will need to be formalised either through mediation, legal negotiations, or court orders.
Life After Divorce
Divorce is an ending, but it’s also a beginning. While the process can be painful, life after divorce can offer opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and happiness. Here are a few things to consider:
Healing Takes Time: Give yourself time to grieve the relationship and adjust to your new reality.
Rebuilding Finances: You may need to reassess your financial situation, create a new budget, or find new sources of income.
Expanding Social Circles: Divorce often affects friendships, but it also opens the door to new connections.
Co-Parenting and Stability: If children are involved, maintaining stability and positive co-parenting relationships is key.
Exploring New Opportunities: Many people find that divorce gives them a fresh start—new hobbies, career changes, or even new relationships.
Should You Get a Prenup?
While prenups aren’t legally binding in the UK, courts do take them into consideration, especially if they’re fair and properly drawn up. A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that outlines how assets, debts, and other financial matters will be handled in the event of a divorce. It can be particularly useful if one partner has significant wealth, owns a business, or has children from a previous relationship.
Although prenups cannot override a court’s decision entirely, they provide a clear framework for asset division, potentially making divorce proceedings less contentious and costly. Having an open conversation about finances before marriage can prevent misunderstandings and set expectations for the future. If you’re considering a prenup, it’s best to seek independent legal advice to ensure that it is drafted correctly and fairly.
The Takeaway
No one gets married expecting to get divorced, but being aware of the realities can help you make informed decisions. Love is wonderful, but marriage is also a legal and financial partnership. Knowing what happens if it doesn’t work out isn’t cynical—it’s smart.
So, as you plan your dream wedding, take a little time to think beyond the big day. After all, a marriage is for life—but if it isn’t, it’s better to know what you’re getting into before you say “I do.”
If you know someone who might find this helpful, don’t keep it to yourself—please share it.
You never know how much of a difference it could make in someone’s life.
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